Can Women And Men Simply Be Friends? Steve Harvey Says No

Harvey tackles age-old relationship concern, challenges one unmarried few.

Aug. 19, 2009 — It is an age-old concern every couple faces: Can men and ladies actually be « just buddies » or does intimate attraction and envy take control? Let’s say anyone remains in touch with an ex, or comes with an opposite-sex pal?

« Good Morning America » special factor Steve Harvey will follow Billy Crystal’s character into the film « When Harry Met Sally,  » whom famously stated, « Males and ladies cannot be buddies. The intercourse component constantly gets when you look at the way. « 

A research into the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology estimated that the opposite-sex relationship may result in an event as frequently as 15 % of times.

Whom far better to weigh in about this relationship that is classic as compared to guy whoever brand brand new relationship book « Act xxxstreams app just Like A Lady, Think just Like A Man » sits at number 1 in the ny Times Hardcover guidance bestseller list?

Author, comedian, actor and host Steve Harvey tackled this topic with range partners.

Justin Vanlandschoot and Stacy Marsch

Hitched for four years

Vanlandschoot, 33, had a female buddy who had been coaching him in a talking competition. Marsch, 37, knew about her, but 1 day saw an e-mail from her spouse for this woman and it also ended up being finalized, « Love ya. « 

Although Marsch claims that women and men might have opposite-sex friends, she felt uncomfortable and confronted him.

Vanlandschoot claims even though there had been next to nothing taking place between him along with his buddy, it had been maybe not well worth jeopardizing their wedding and then he finished the relationship.

« You typed, ‘love you’?  » Harvey asked Valandschott. « that is pretty dangerous. I can not also type ‘We as if you a great deal’ without starting an important fire. « 

He told Valandschott which he did the thing that is right closing the friendship.

« I’m simply for the belief that a few should form a two-handed group,  » Harvey stated. « Outside relationships. Exactly just what good do they bring to your wedding? « 

Aaron Bouw and Lindsey Dahlin

Dating for three to four days

Dahlin, 25, states its fine for guys and ladies to « simply be buddies.  » nevertheless, Bouw, 29, says that women pull the card that is naive and don’t realize it each time a male friend is thinking about them. Bouw states he trusts Dahlin, he simply doesn’t trust her guy buddies.

« we understand just exactly how males think,  » Bouw stated. « we now have a very important factor on our brain. « 

Harvey told Buow he was wanting to mark their territory, maybe maybe perhaps not protect Dahlin.

« which is exactly how males are, which is the way we think,  » Harvey said. « It is nearly virtually impossible for a guy become a woman’s friend. The reason that is only’re your friend is because you have made it completely clear it’s geting to go any further than this. « 

Can Gents And Ladies Just Be Friends?

Sharon and Bill Brewser

Sharon Brewster, 53, stated she nearly called down her wedding because she discovered a text from an other woman on her behalf spouse’s mobile phone that ended with « sweet ambitions. « 

« we heard Bill’s phone set off,  » she stated. « we sought out and confronted him. I became extremely upset. « 

« she actually is most certainly not saying have sweet longs for your lady,  » Harvey said.

Sharon’s spouse, Bill Brewster, 52, informed her which he always got along better with women than males. But understanding that Sharon doesn’t think women and men could be « just buddies,  » he failed to inform her about a number of their feminine buddies.

« the top error that I made ended up being that she did not learn about her,  » Bill stated.

Mary Fitzgerald and Bill Soldwisch

Dating for 11 years

Fitzgerald and Soldwisch both have actually buddies regarding the opposite-sex and never say it has been an issue. Even though few have not married, they remain committed and state they might never ever do just about anything to jeopardize the partnership.

Having friends that are female « never been a challenge,  » Soldwisch said. « they have been my close friends. I have been fortunate to include myself with confident women in my entire life. « 

« they are going to continually be urge, however when you are in a real committed relationship, why ruin a great thing?  » Fitzgerald stated.

Harvey had been astonished Fitzgerald did not need to get hitched.

 » we do not have specific desire for being hitched,  » she stated. « We don’t require the sheet of paper. « 

They do make reference to one another as couple, making it « easier for the public that is general » Soldwisch stated.

« we simply have no idea a girl would youn’t desire to be hitched,  » Harvey stated. « we’m stuck. « 

Can Gents And Ladies Get Friends? Watchers Weigh In

« GMA » additionally received hundreds of emails from audiences desperate to join the discussion.

Angela McDaniel from Lufkin, Tex., composed in about psychological infidelity.

« My husband has already established a few friends that are female i did not find out about. Then you are having an emotional affair if your spouse doesn’t know about his friend! If you weren’t there is no good explanation to slip & speak with the buddy. « 

Brenda Velasquez from Modesto, Calif., states gents and ladies are buddies without causing dilemmas within their wedding.  » Take me for a good example. After my marriage that is first’re nevertheless buddies. In reality my ex-husband is leasing a space from my present husband and me personally. In my experience, it is only exactly how civilized and developed you’re in the relationship and situation. « 

Heather from Birch Run, Mich., e-mailed « GMA » to inquire about Harvey a concern.

« My closest friend is a male. We dated for a tremendously time that is short years back right after senior high school. Whenever my now spouse and I also began dating he knew we hung out several times about him and. But about 2 yrs directly after we got hitched my hubby began making responses about him. Now every time we fight, he tosses him up in my own face. No clue is had by me getting him to quit. Any a few ideas? «